Sanji's Rehabilitation
by Kiarene
Summary: Chapter 604. Chopper: "We'll have to rehabilitate him slowly… Start him off with some tame photographs." In which the Strawhats have an Intervention. And Robin has too much fun. One-shot.


**Sanji's Rehabilitation**

_Chapter 604._

_Chopper: We'll have to rehabilitate him slowly… Start him off with some tame photographs._

The crew—minus cook—is huddled around a bunch of barrels in the armory. Sanji should be busy in the kitchen and just to be sure, Robin keeps an eye out in the galley.

"I call this meeting to order!" Usopp says because he can. He bangs his fist on his barrel.

Chopper shakes his head. "The photographs are not enough. He still gets nose bleeds if he even looks toward at Nami or Robin."

"Che. Useless cook." Zoro closes his eyes, crosses his arms, leans back against the pile of cannon balls and falls asleep.

Nami looks cross. "Thing is, he is monstrously strong and quite reliable. But this weakness of his…"

Everyone, except Zoro, nods emphatically, arms crossed.

"We've got to do something," Luffy announces in a rare, serious voice.

"But what? Even more explicit photographs?" Usopp threw up his arms. Franky sniggers.

Chopper looks worried. "I'm running low on blood for him."

"No," Robin says in her deliberate way. "I think a change of plans is in the order."

And she explains.

**Step 1: Acclimatization**

"You see, part of his problem is that he grew up on the Baratie."

The guys look blank. While Nami sighs and looks frustrated, Robin expects that and went on patiently. "He grew up surrounded by males on a floating restuarant."

"Not just any males, but rude and uncouth ex-pirates," Nami adds. She had seen the fighting cooks of the Baratie. "Think of the way Sanji interacts with Zoro. Now imagine a hot kitchen full of guys like that. Well, minus the inhuman strength of those two."

Luffy laughs, slapping his knee. "Oh yeah, I remember that bunch."

"Sanji had little contact with females as he grew up, and the only contact, I'd imagine, would be with female patrons, and quite fleetingly."

"And the Baratie was a pretty classy restaurant," Nami adds thoughtfully. She is starting to see Robin's reasoning. Although Zeff kicked him out of the kitchen saying Sanji's cooking wasn't up to par, Nami realizes, thinking back, that Zeff wanted Sanji waiting on the customers because Sanji was the only male in the Baratie who remotely had manners. "So the women he meet were likely to be nicely dressed and on their best behavior."

"He ended up with a severely limited experience of women, coupled with an unrealistic expectation. Which gave rise to, well, his overly romantic code of conduct," Robin nods, pleased with her delicate phrasing. She doesn't add that she thinks him young and silly; he was barely out of his teens when she first met him, and everyone knows teenagers don't think in the same way as rational people. She doesn't blame him, really.

"You know, he could have ended up overly shy and scared to death of women," Robin points out. "Fortunately Cook-san has a healthy self-esteem."

A dim light bulb goes off over Usopp, Chopper and Franky's heads. Three fists slaps onto open palms. "Aaahh."

"Ok, but that doesn't explain how he became much worse since we met up after those Two Years," Usopp points out.

"And that the second part of the problem." Robin rests her elbows on her barrel and steeples her fingers. "It probably has to do with where he ended up during those two years."

"Where did he go?" Franky wonders. "He refused to say."

"Ah. Sanji said he went to Okama Island," Luffy says blankly, digging his ear. Everyone goes wide-eyed, and then howls with laughter.

"OH MY GOD!" Franky pounds his barrel so hard it splinters.

"I know I know!" Usopp guffaws, tears running down his face. "I mean, of all the possible islands he could be sent to…"

"He gets sent to the one place he…" Nami can't complete her sentence, she was laughing so hard.

"No wonder he kept saying he trained his legs in hell," Usopp wipes his eyes.

"Poor cook-bro." Franky tries to commiserate. For about two seconds before he breaks out in another round of laughter. "I'm sorry I can't take it!"

Chopper is rolling on the floor, all puffed up.

Robin hides her mirth behind her hand.

Brook feels for Sanji, as a fellow pervert, he really does. Yet he is also happy he wasn't sent there; he didn't even know such an island existed.

Luffy laughs along with his crew. He doesn't quite get it, but he's happy that they are happy.

Zoro snores on.

Finally, the crew pulls themselves together.

"Well, that certainly explains a lot," Robin says.

"No wonder Sanji is so sensitive now," Usopp shakes his head.

"Step one: acclimatization. Nami and I will spend more time around Cook-san," Robin continues. She looks at the navigator. "And I think for this part of the plan, we should… cover up a little."

Chopper nods emphatically. "Yes yes! I cannot spare any more blood! What if someone gets hurt really badly during a fight and needs a transfusion?"

And Operation 'Desensitize Sanji', also known as Operation DS, is put into effect.

Most of the work falls upon the two females in the crew, understandably. They started to spend more time around Sanji, hanging around the galley as he cooks.

Sanji is ecstatic every time he sees either of the women. Robin gently reminds him not to stand on ceremony around them while Nami says him bluntly, "No noodle-ing or behaving like an idiot around us, or we'll leave."

So Sanji controls himself with admirable effort.

And whenever it seems as if Sanji is making progress, the women move ahead with his training. They sit beside him during mealtimes. They take off the long-sleeves they were wearing around him. They touch him, causal touches on his arm or shoulder.

It seems to work.

**Step 2: Out of the Galley**

"Another reason Cook-san is so sensitive around females is because he doesn't spend enough time outside." Robin looks sternly at the guys. "He spends far too much time in his galley."

"He's our cook," Luffy says simply.

"I love his cooking!" Chopper looks worried.

"I have cannot-cook-i-sitis." Usopp nods, his long nose bobbing.

"No worries there; we certainly won't make any of you lot cook," Nami snarls at the lazy bunch. "But you can definitely help clean up."

"I am not…" Zoro tries to protest.

"No money for sake." Nami rounds on him.

The women make the other guys, even Zoro, take over the dishwashing and cleaning duties so Sanji spends more time out of his galley. At first, he looks at a loss. But he soon finds ways to spend his free time.

He helps Nami out with her mikan grove, and the two end up starting a small vegetable patch when he says they don't eat enough vegetables while out at sea.

Robin casually mentions to Sanji that she thinks he should record his recipes. Excited, he starts to write a cookbook. Robin helps him turn his scribbled notes into something readers can understand and follow.

**Step 3: The Swimsuits**

"I believe Cook-san is ready for the next stage," Robin tells Nami. It's been two months since they've started Operation DS. Sanji still gushes and he still gets nosebleeds, but he is improving by leaps and bounds.

Nami looks at her maps. "Perfect timing. We're coming up to some tropical islands next."

Chopper looks concerned. Nami tells him they can stock up on blood once they reach the islands.

It was sunny and hot when they dock at Chana, the first island. Nami and Robin exit their cabin with bikinis under loose blouses and Sanji's eyes pop.

"Hold it in, Sanji!" Usopp stands between Sanji and the women while Sanji tries to control himself. A trickle runs down between Sanji's fingers, which are pinched around his nose.

"Good job bro!" Franky slaps Sanji on his back.

"All right? Can I move away now?" Usopp asks.

Sanji flushes, embarrassed. "Ah go away you shitty bastards. I'm much better now." He takes out a handkerchief and discretely wipes his nose.

"Look, I built a nose-pincher for you." Franky pulls out what looks like a pair of shades with two fingers attached to the nose-rest.

Sanji recoils. "That's so uncool!"

Robin smiles as the guys poke fun at Sanji. The blond man _is_ much, much better now. And to her pleasant surprise, she finds that without his silly gushing and posturing, Sanji is quite a sweet guy.

Sanji has a naïve and shallow outlook on what constitutes gentlemanly behavior, but compared to the brutish pirates Robin has seen on the Grand Line, Sanji is a rare gem. Underneath, he truly is thoughtful and considerate.

As Nami barks instructions to the guys and doles out the spending money, Robin moves to slip her arm through Sanji's. "Cook-san, let's go shopping," she says gaily.

Sanji's eyes widen and he breaks into a heart-filled grin. "Robin-chwan!"

To Sanji's credit, he didn't look down at her cleavage at all, though he looks almost ready to pass out from happiness. That was likely due to the fact that his arm was pressed up against the side of her breast.

Nami looks a little surprised but quickly recovers. "This island is a fantastic place to stock up," she says. "I want to buy more paper and pens too."

"I'll help you with the groceries," Robin says as they leave the ship.

"I refuse to let you strain yourself," Sanji announces. "But I would love your company. And Nami-swan's too!"

Nami slips her arm through Sanji's free arm and punches the air with her other arm "Let's go! Be back by four, guys!"

Sanji almost floats away in happiness as he walks, arms around two beautiful ladies.

And unknowingly, Step 4 of Operation DS was initiated before Step 3.

**Step 4: Contact**

Sanji, Robin and Nami spend a pleasant morning shopping. He insists they buy their stuff first, claiming that food is perishable and should be bought last.

They buy map paper and a new pen for Nami. For Robin, more books. Then they step into a clothing shop.

They try on summer dresses and swimsuits, and Sanji is in heaven.

"Sanji is really patient," Nami remarks as they changed into their forty-fifth outfit. There was a mountain of clothes they intend to buy in one corner of the changing booth and a very small pile of rejects beside it.

Robin opens an eye outside in the shop. Sanji is seated in front of the changing rooms, dreamy and excited with anticipation at their next outfits. "Most guys would be bored to death." The eye outside disappears in a flutter of petals and she opens her eyes again.

Nami nods, smoothing down the front of a bright yellow sundress. "I went shopping with Usopp once. He wouldn't stop whining."

"And good luck in getting any of the others to sit still."

"Zoro could…"

"But that's only because he fell asleep!"

The women laugh.

They leave the shop with their purchases floating in a massive cloud of bubbles above them. Nami, as usual, wrangled a hefty discount, and she is trilling evilly to herself.

On the way to the market, they run into Franky and Chopper, who are on their way back to the Sunny.

"You've bought a lot!" Sanji notices the bubbles trailing behind his crewmates.

Chopper grins up at him. "I managed to get a lot of bags of blood!"

Sanji flushes, looking down. "I'm much better now!"

"You better! Do you know how much all this blood is costing me?" Nami scolds him.

"I'm so sorry Nami-swan!" Sanji looks like a kicked puppy but Nami has no sympathy.

"Three hundred percent interest!" Nami barks, jabbing a finger at his chest.

"Here's my money!" Sanji wails as he hands her his wallet. A couple of girls walking by titters.

Nami counts out her cash and hands Sanji back a noticeably thinner wallet. Franky and Chopper wince.

Sanji looks at his money wanly. "Well, there's enough for my cigarettes…"

"Speaking of which!" Nami turns on Sanji again. "I think you should cut back on smoking."

Sanji looks horrified. "But… but…"

"It's bad for your health and lungs," Chopper chips in. "And taste buds."

"Cigarettes are expensive," Nami states the most important reason, to her at least. When she sees that Sanji doesn't look convinced, she goes for the killing blow. "And you smell like a chimney. Girls don't like guys who smell like that."

"I… do?" Sanji visibly deflates at that, almost tearing up. "All right, Nami-swan…"

Another woman walking by catches Robin's eye, snickers and mouths, 'henpecked'.

Franky and Chopper only shake their heads. Sanji is a depressed puddle on the sidewalk.

Robin steps in to mitigate the damage, though she privately, completely agrees with Nami. "Well, a bit of smoking is fine, but Nami and Chopper are right. You should cut back."

Gently, she pulls the puddle of cook up in a flutter of disembodied hands. "Let's start slow. One and a half pack instead of two a day, all right?"

"Robin-chwan is so thoughtful." Sanji revives quickly. "But I can cut down to one, no, half a pack a day!"

And so he does.

Sanji has as much dogged determination as Luffy or Zoro, and despite visibly suffering from the effects of nicotine withdrawal, he stubbornly keeps to his vow to cut down to half a pack.

What helps are the swimsuits.

The log pose takes four days to reset and meanwhile, the crew lazes about on the beach. Robin and Nami are out in their bikinis every day and allow Sanji to rub sunscreen on their backs.

Sanji is too busy trying to control himself to feel the effects of withdrawal. He buys some lollipops from a candy store on the island and constantly keeps a stick in his mouth until Zoro needles him.

"Do you have an oral fixation, cook?" Zoro leers. He walks over and stands over Sanji, who is lying in the sun, sucking on another lollipop. Zoro tilts his pelvis out over Sanji's face in a lewd display, obviously meant to incite.

Usopp and Franky snigger. The meaning, fortunately, completely escapes Luffy and Chopper, who are building what promises to be a huge a sand castle. Brook strums a dramatic chord.

Sanji stands up quickly, the candy crunching in his mouth. "Shitty bastard! As if I would!"

"Every time I see you, you've something… long in your mouth." Zoro leans in.

"The stick you keep on your mouth is lot bigger." Sanji raises a curly brow.

"You can't handle my stick, love-cook."

"I don't _want _to handle your stick, marimo."

"If you're going to fight, take it further away! Much, much further away!" Nami yells without getting up. The women are stretched out in the sun and have no wish to have sand sprayed on them.

"Yes Nami-swan!"

And Sanji punts the green-haired man to a spot much further down the beach. Zoro allows it because he doesn't want to cross the cross navigator, but he doesn't want to appear to be listening to her.

By the time they leave Chana, Sanji can sit next to the ladies without gushing and he can even oil their backs without getting a nosebleed.

To the crew's astonishment, Mr Prince surfaces occasionally. Robin postulates the this debonair aspect of Sanji's personality is what Sanji aspires to be.

"Sanji has split personalities?" Usopp asks.

"No, no. How can I say this," Robin muses. "Mr Prince is the more mature aspect of Sanji-"

"So Sanji still has to grow up?" Chopper exclaims naively. "But I thought he's fully grown!"

The other crewmembers guffaws. Except Luffy, who believes Chopper.

"Chopper, it's like this." Zoro wipes his eyes and explains gruffly. "When we're practicing a new technique, there's a point where we can sometimes perform it, but not consistently. So we continue training until we can do it all the time."

"Ooooohhhh…." Luffy and Chopper nod their heads.

At the next island, Robin informs Sanji that he can now oil the back of their legs. Sanji swoons at the 'level up'.

**Step 5: Fighting**

Another headache for Operation DS is the way Sanji absolutely refuses to hit a woman, even on pain of death.

"Ideas?" Nami looks around at the crew, sans Sanji of course.

"You can't even spar with him for him to practice hitting a woman," Zoro says disdainfully. Nami shoots him a glare.

"Not that he ever would," Usopp adds.

Everyone gives a sigh as they rack their brains. They know that much about Sanji; he would stick that strongly to what he perceives are his principles, even at the expense of his life. And they all can respect that. They think his rule of not hitting a woman is stupid, but they can respect a guy for his principles.

"Yohohoho...I do believe we are at an impasse," Brook murmurs the obvious.

Surprisingly, Zoro speaks up. "Well then, there's no two ways about it. He will just have to train to get stronger." His eyes gleam. "_We_ will just have to train him to get stronger."

Nami stares askance at him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, that aho-cook won't hit a woman. So we'll just have to train him up to the extent that he will survive being whacked, at least until Luffy or I saves him," Zoro states, punching a fist into his open palm with an unholy grin.

There was a long pause. "That actually makes sense," Usopp says finally. "What kind of training will that entail?"

There was another long pause and Zoro cackles.

Robin decides to interject. "Swordsman-san has a point. Moreover, by getting stronger, Cook-san would be more likely to be able to subdue an opponent without harming them."

"That's a salient point," Brook says.

"Huh?" Luffy asks.

"He means it's a good point." Nami rolls her eyes.

"Oh, ok!" Luffy laughs. "So it's settled!"

And so commences Step 5.

Nami explains the rules of the training to Sanji. "No kicking back! Imagine Zoro is a woman…"

Everyone blanches.

Nami coughs and goes on. "Anyway, fight as if you would against a woman. So unless you are prepared to hit a woman..."

"Never!" Sanji says resolutely.

"Then you can only dodge!" Nami scowls and points a finger at him.

"Better yet, run away." Usopp gives Sanji his best advice.

"Never!" Sanji crosses his arms and glares at Zoro.

Zoro advances on him, a sword in each hand. He generously leave his third sword sheathed. He gives a feral grin. "If you're not going to fight back or run away, then just lie there and _take it_!"

**Step 6: Moving In**

"Sanji's doing much better these days," Chopper remarks during the latest meeting of 'Operation DS'.

Usopp and Franky nodded. "Uhm hmm."

"I haven't had to give him a blood transfusion in over two months!"

"I haven't had to mop the decks from his nose bleeds in over a month!" Usopp pulls a face. "Although I still have to clean the decks of blood…"

"Can you not fight on the other ship?!" He barks at Luffy and Zoro.

"Ok." Luffy shrugs.

Zoro ignore Usopp.

"So does this mean Operation DS is a success?" Brook asks.

"Oh, Sanji's training is not done yet." Robin smiles, a little menacingly.

"Training?" Luffy asks.

Franky shares a Look with Brook at the word training. Sometimes they envy the cook, and other times, not at all.

"It's like any new technique," Nami explains to Luffy.

Zoro raises a brow. "So what's the next step?"

Nami looks at Robin. When they initially drafted the plan several months ago, by themselves, they talked about the possibility of this step but discarded it immediately. However, Sanji grew on them over the past few months. Without his posturing and silliness and nosebleeds...

"_Sanji can be quite sweet," Nami had giggled, late one night just before they went to bed._

_Robin turned to look at Nami, putting her book down for a while. "Oh?"_

"_Yeah. He's kind and thoughtful. Dependable. Hardworking." Nami listed the cook's good qualities._

"_His cooking is divine."_

"_Patient." Nami laughed. "He's the only guy we can take shopping. Even though he's a pervert, he's also a very decent guy."_

"_He is surprisingly innocent." Robin looked thoughtful. "So would you…" She gestures to their cabin._

_Nami was ready to say no, then reconsidered her reflex response. "Actually, I don't think I mind. He's clean and neat. And now that he's not smoking so much, he smells quite good too."_

"_And he's easy on the eyes." Robin added saucily. Nami purred._

"In the next step, Sanji moves into our cabin." Nami says.

"Why?" Luffy asks curiously.

"He needs to get comfortable with women," Nami says, her eyes hooded. "He needs to see that women are not the goddesses he keeps saying they are.

"He needs to see that women are as fallible as men." Robin feels a little uncomfortable about this part as well but Sanji _needs_ this.

There is a moment of silence as the males contemplate the implications.

"Lucky bro!" Franky whistles.

"Will you let him see your panties?" Brook asks. Nami slaps the back of his head into a barrel.

"I don't think he's that lucky," Usopp informs Franky. He glances at the two women and shudders.

Chopper looks worried. "Let me count the bags of blood again."

"Always knew the stupid cook was a girl." Zoro snorted and smiled evilly at the thought of the amount of ribbing he can get in over the next few weeks.

Luffy claps the bottom of his feet together. "Ok."

Franky gets to work, moving Sanji's bed to the girls' cabin while the crew goes to inform Sanji.

Sanji is speechless. And then incoherent with confusion and joy. "Oh I would love to… but I cannot impinge upon my mellorines' privacy… not that I don't want to… I don't understand…"

He starts to go all noodle-ly again until Robin pokes him gently. "None of that now."

Sanji takes a deep breath. And another. "But why?"

"You know what we've been doing," Robin tells him.

Sanji nods. He's not stupid; he knows his crew have been trying to help him get over his extreme sensitivity to women. Although they haven't outright told him. Until now.

"Well, we're going to completely desensitize you." Nami informs him. "Until you feel completely comfortable with women."

"How does it feel to be one of the girls?" Zoro ribs him.

"You just wish you were in my shoes." Sanji snaps back.

Nami doesn't feel like another squabble between the two so she grabs Sanji by his tie and leads him off. "Come on, go pack."

"Yes Nami-swan!"

"Che." Zoro grunts. He looks grumpily at Robin. "You might want to think about curing his submissiveness towards as well. That can't be good in a fight."

Robin laughs.

The women's cabin is heaven compared to the purgatory of the men's quarters. The actual size is smaller, but since it is a lot neater, it feels spacious.

It also smells a lot better. Sanji has a highly developed sense of smell; the fact that he can cook so well despite his smoking habit is a testament to how sensitive his sense of smell is. Ever since he cut back on his smoking, his sense of smell has become more acute, and the stench of unwashed clothes, dirty sandals, and engine oil in the men's cabin has recently become frankly unbearable.

In contrast, the scent of women's cabin, of sun-dried sheets, mikan, and books, is like the delicate aroma of well-balanced soup.

"Women are so much better." Sanji stands in the middle of cabin, with an awed and dopey grin. He takes deep breaths, imagining that he is ridding himself of the shitty men's cabin smells.

Nami points him to his corner of the room and the imaginary line that he cannot cross without permission. Sanji assures her he won't.

Sanji is both an easy and difficult roommate. On one hand, he is very respectful of the women and they have no worries that he would do anything indecent. Even if his expression becomes quite weird at times.

On the other hand, he is still a male. They cannot lounge around in their underwear, or change in front of him.

"Just pretend he's one of the girls," Zoro advises them with a snigger.

But that isn't the extent of their problem. Sanji is a _male_. And while he averts his eyes, they don't.

Sanji wears a full suit during the day, but unless they were sailing through a cold region, he strips to boxers to sleep at night. Also, he likes to start his day with light exercises like stretching and push-ups. While still in his boxers.

Nami caught Robin's eye one morning, as the two lay quietly in their beds. Robin winks saucily, but Nami looks embarrassed. Lately, they have been waking to the sound of Sanji's soft grunts as he does his push-ups. It's very dim in the cabin as the sun hadn't yet risen; it's that time sailors call false sunrise. So they have to strain their eyes and let their imaginations fill in the rest.

"I thought we were supposed to be desensitizing Sanji, not sensitizing ourselves," Nami grumbles sotto voce one day to Robin after Sanji had left the cabin to start breakfast. The sky is lightening, and the crew is waking up. Outside, they could hear the clangs of Zoro's weights, the faint strains of Brook's violin.

Robin laughs quietly. "He is lovely to watch."

"What should we do?" Nami whines to her older crewmate, rolling around in her bed like a kid with a tantrum. Robin reminds her of Nojiko, her older sister.

Robin thinks for a while, and smirks. She turns to face Nami fully. "Well, why not act on it?"

"...what?" Nami looks shocked.

"Oh come on, we're horny. This is a natural solution." There was a loaded silence. "Wait."

Robin looks at Nami carefully. "You haven't ...done it before?"

Nami can't believe how blase Robin is about sex. She often forgets that Robin is considerably more mature than her. "Well, where would I have the time? And with whom?"

Robin recalls Nami's history and nods. "You have a point," she says delicately.

Nami fiddles with a stray thread on her blanket.

Robin thinks about it, and concludes that Sanji's not the only one who needs some ...training.

"Well, all the more you should do it," Robin nods.

"What? It's Sanji-kun! I mean! But!" Nami flushes, stutters. Flails her arms.

Robin sits up in bed, looking entirely too devious. "If you're not interested, I am."

"NO!" Nami turns as red as her hair. "I mean…"

"Excellent." Robin taps an elegant finger on her chin. "We'll do it tonight."

Nami gapes at Robin.

**Step 7: Doing It**

Oddly, Sanji is calmer than Nami when Robin informs him. He noodles and swoons a bit, and is as excited as a puppy, but at least he's coherent.

Unlike Nami, who is perched uncomfortably on her bed, giving occasionally glares and making squeaking sounds. When Sanji looks at her in concern, Robin tugs his attention back to her gently via his tie. "Mm, Navigator-san is shy. We'll do it first. You've done it before?"

Sanji smirks, Mr Prince-like, and brushes Robin's hair back sensually. "Well, only a couple of times. Please excuse my inexperience."

Nami squeaks again, her eyes wide. Sanji is not a virgin?!

Robin is entirely too, too amused. "Wonderful. Now kiss me."

"Gladly," Sanji murmurs in an aroused baritone, and leans in.

Sanji has potential, Robin decides many, many minutes later. He learns quickly, is biddable, and importantly, is very focused on his partner's pleasure. He is pleasing to her touch, wonderfully responsive, and smells nice.

He also has stamina like a horse.

Yes, Robin smirks to herself as she recovers. She leans back on her forearms, watching the blond man beside her through lidded eyes. Sanji lies on his back, eyes closed and a dreamy smile on his lips. She glances at Nami, who had fainted away, and back at Sanji again.

Much potential.

**END**

_A/N: _

_Methinks Robin sees Sanji like her pet. He cooks and cleans. He functions as eye-candy and experimental material. And he provides massages and sex on tap. _

_While Nami suddenly realizes that Robin has created a monster. _


End file.
